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It’s a game of shame, of guilty pleasure beyond belief. It’s fun and festive, sure, but a game of soggy biscuit is not a party. The childhood nostalgia factor of these biscuits is hard to overlook, and hence, they’re not an ideal biscuit for such a sexual act. But still, remember Soggy Biscuit isn’t your average blowjob swallow - no, it’s the collective semen of many. This assumes two things: you want as little semen as possible, and you want that taste to be disguised as much as possible. But looking at factors such as flavour, texture, and size, a biscuit champion was discovered. Hypothetical of course there’s many things I’m willing to do in the name of journalism, but this is just not one of those things. So, being an avid biscuit lover myself, I decided to power-rank the best biscuits to use in a game of Soggy Biscuit. But, well, isn’t that exactly what you would say if you had participated? Despite lack of acknowledgements, these rumours lingered. You can see why I was simultaneously appalled and fascinated.Įveryone I’ve spoken to whose ever went to these schools has feverishly denied that they’d ever taken part in such a game. They would all collectively cum onto the biscuit, and the slowest to do so would have to eat said biscuit at the end. I went to a single-sex school, and the rumours I heard wafting off the all-boys boarding houses were, well, were hard to ignore.įor those who don’t know, Soggy Biscuit is a game where a group sits in a circle, masturbating around a biscuit. Growing up, I was always intrigued by the concept of Soggy Biscuit.